Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Introducing Graham...

I've been waiting for awhile to write the first post about our sweet new baby so I could write about the gender and name. We found out yesterday that we're having a BOY and his name will be Graham Runnels. So, more about him and the details of the pregnancy from the beginning:
We found out that we were expecting number three on October 30. I didn't think I was pregnant, but there was the question in the back of my mind, so I decided to take a test to know for sure. After three tests, it began to sink in. We had been hoping to have another, so it was no shock, but emotional nonetheless. The only indication I had had before the positive tests was that during dinner the weekend before with friends, I suddenly got very nauseous when eating a steak. We told family and close friends in the coming days about our pregnancy.
At six weeks I made a spur of the moment appointment with the midwife at our clinic and the ultrasound showed the tiny little dot with the heartbeat and I was so excited to know that things were going as they should. My regularly scheduled appointment with my doctor was for the following week and thankfully Jeff went to that appointment with me. It started with small talk with the doctor, but as she began the ultrasound, I could tell by the look on her face that she was concerned. I looked at the screen and saw only a black void. No yolk sac, no baby, no heartbeat. Nothing. She didn't say anything, but continued the ultrasound for what seemed like five minutes. Finally, she scanned over something that flickered quickly. She said that she thought it might be the heartbeat, but that the ultrasound did not look normal. She wanted me to come back in a week to do another ultrasound. We discussed my options if there were no heartbeat the next week and in the back of my mind that is what I began preparing myself for. I had had a miscarriage a couple of years prior and been through this before. I would have never imagined I'd be doing it again. I left the office and spent the next week in tears, convinced that it was over. There were other indications that week that there was a problem, so I fully expected to see no heartbeat at the upcoming appointment.
During this difficult week, I sought the Lord constantly, knowing that He was and is the only comfort I could find. I prayed for Him to save the baby, to comfort and encourage me. I have a wonderfully close group of friends who lifted me up in prayer during this time, sat with me when I cried, and spoke truth to me. That was so good. I needed to be reminded that all I knew for sure was that I was in fact pregnant and that there was a little heart beating inside me. And that God was in total control of it all. I sat in the bath every night praying for the baby and just waiting to hear from the Lord. It finally occurred to me that maybe I was making Him too small, not trusting that He really could work a miracle and let everything be okay. After that realization, I felt such peace.
When the time finally came to go back to the doctor, Jeff was right beside me as she began the ultrasound. I closed my eyes and turned my head away from the machine, not wanting to see the lack of a heartbeat as I had before during my last miscarriage. It's just an image that is burned in my memory and I didn't want it again. My doctor said, "There it is. There's the baby." I looked at the screen and saw my precious little baby's body and the strong heartbeat. A head, arms, legs. The baby. Measuring perfectly. Amazing. Instantly I thanked the Lord because I knew He had answered the prayers of so many. The ultrasound machine used the week before was blamed, but whatever it was, I know the Lord had His hand in it.
So, I ended up changing doctors and clinics all together. I just didn't feel comfortable with mine and wanted someone who I felt went the extra mile and cared more about me and the baby. I found one that I'm so happy with. He discovered the reason for my complications, put me on progesterone, and I've had an ultrasound every time I've gone in. And, every time we see that the sweet baby is growing right as he should be and everything looks great. I feel his movements now and frequently lie on my back just to feel him wiggling. He gave the ultrasound technician a hard time yesterday though because the umbilical cord was between his legs and he had his legs crossed and pulled up, but she finally got the picture confirming that he is definitely a boy. I've kind of had a feeling all along because at the beginning of my pregnancy I was incredibly hungry all the time and was nauseous, which I didn't experience with either of the girls.
About the name: We've really only had a boy's name all this time. Graham is named after Jeff's grandmother, whom everyone called Gram. Runnels is Jeff's middle name and his mother's maiden name. The initials GRH have been in the family for many years. We love his name and that it has such sweet meaning. I'm so excited to add a boy to our family and experience being the mom of a little boy. Oh, how God has blessed us!!!